


Bugs

by yodepalma



Series: The Path of Flame [10]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fusion, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Crossover, Ed is secretly adorable, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Schmoop, Side Story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-06
Updated: 2017-01-06
Packaged: 2018-09-15 04:43:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9219485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yodepalma/pseuds/yodepalma
Summary: Ed is far too happy to wait until a reasonable hour to share his news. Roy really should be more annoyed by this than he is.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Set during chapter 11 of _The Children of Snakes_. I have zero recollection of writing this BUT HERE IT IS, ENJOY :D

_Bugs_

Roy stared drowsily at Ed’s image in the fire, resisting the urge to check his watch again to see if he’d noted the time wrong the first time. He knew he hadn’t. He just couldn’t fathom what Ed—what _anyone_ , really—was doing up at this hour, and was mostly hoping that this was just a dream.

“Okay,” Ed said, his eyes bright, or was that just the firelight? Either way he was beautiful, especially right now. Something had made him exceedingly happy, happier than Roy could believe, and, oh god, was he envious of something he wasn’t even aware of yet? He was. He was envious of whatever had made his husband happy that wasn’t him. His life had officially hit a new low. “Okay, so you can’t say anything at all until I’m done because nobody’s hurt and everything turned out fine, I swear. Even me. I’m not even bleeding.”

“Well, this is starting off delightfully ominous,” Roy said. “I notice you haven’t mentioned that nothing has blown up.”

“The forest _is_ still standing!” Ed snapped, crossing his arms and glaring. “It’s just spikier than it was before. And has a few less spiders. Neither of which is the _point_ here, okay, the Acromantula are definitely not the point. It’s after that I wanted to tell you, but we have to get through them first—”

“Ed, love, please go back to the beginning,” Roy said tiredly. “I’m not nearly awake enough to keep up with you right now.”

“Sorry,” Ed said, voice quieter as something like guilt settled into his expression. Dammit, that’s not what Roy had been aiming for at all. “I didn’t wake you up, did I? What time is it there?”

“The time is far too early to be named,” Roy muttered, rubbing at the bridge of his nose. “But, no, you didn’t wake me up. You know how well I sleep. I’m happy to hear from you; I’m just not terribly alive at the moment.”

“Yeah, I hear you,” Ed said softly, and the smile he was giving Roy now was tinged with sadness. Roy knew exactly how he felt. “Anyway. So today—yesterday?—today Harry comes up to me with a note telling me that Hagrid told him and Draco that if they want to find out what’s going on with the castle all they have to do is follow the spiders. Apparently they’ve been looking for some for months, but only managed to spot a couple recently, and you know where they were headed, right? The Forbidden Forest.”

Roy closed his eyes, already feeling the impending headache. “Please tell me my son didn’t go into anything named ‘Forbidden’.”

“Yeah, you know, I’d love to tell you that,” Ed said slowly. “I mean nothing, literally nothing, would make me happier than to say that exact sentence—”

“Edward.”

“Roy, if I tell him he can’t do it, you know what he says? He says I would’ve when I was twelve, and he calls me a hypocrite.” Ed’s scowl was impressive by even his standards, and Roy was fairly certain that the majority of it was aimed at Ed himself. “Hell, I’d already survived worse by that age. I haven’t exactly got a leg to stand on here.”

“There are plenty of arguments you could make, darling,” Roy said, but not very firmly. He and Ed had already had this argument more than once, and he wasn’t really feeling up to having it again. “But perhaps you can try them next time. So Harry went out into this forest?”

“Yeah, Harry went,” Ed said, glaring at him but letting him get away with avoiding the argument. He mustn’t be in the mood for it either. “Dragging Draco along with him, though he seems to enjoy it. And, uh, I might’ve gone with them to make sure they didn’t die.”

“How thoughtful of you,” Roy said.

“I thought so,” Ed agreed. “Look, I gave them _Felix Felicis_ for all the fucking good it did, and I made up a new protection spell on the spot to prevent them from getting hurt by physical attacks as much as possible. Gonna have to tweak it a bit when I get a chance later. But I did everything I could and nobody got hurt, okay?”

“So you’ve said,” Roy said, starting to get suspicious. “Several times now. What _did_ happen, then?”

“There might’ve been an Acromantula colony,” Ed said quickly, making Roy’s heart jump straight up into his throat. “And we talked to them, but when we tried to leave they tried to eat us, so I made the kids run ahead while I kept them back, and I think some centaurs gave them a ride out of the forest. You know how hard it is to get them to talk to you. Oh, and did I ever tell you I think there’s a basilisk in the school?”

“A basilisk?” Roy echoed faintly, and almost didn’t catch Ed’s grimace. “No, you failed to mention _that_ little piece of information. Why in the world did I let Harry stay there?”

“Because it makes him happy and trying to get him into a school back home in January is impossible,” Ed reminded him promptly. Roy sighed with feeling. Perhaps even a bit melodramatically. He felt like the night called for it. “Should I remind you now that, as of this moment, nobody is injured? Because nobody is injured. And I’m not done yet.”

“Oh god, there’s _more_?” Roy asked, not sure he wanted to know. “What can be worse than the basilisk?”

“Not worse,” Ed said. He was starting to smile again, and Roy remembered that this conversation had started because something had made Ed happy tonight. “Harry managed to convince himself that he’d talked me into an adventure that got me killed—don’t laugh!—and I told him that there’s no way I’d let myself be killed by a bunch of spiders. Like you’d ever let me live it down.”

“You’re right; I wouldn’t,” Roy agreed. “I can see your grave marker now. Would it make you angrier if I used the ‘Hero of the People’ moniker, or if I called them bugs instead of arachnids?”

“I knew you would fuckin’ call ‘em bugs,” Ed growled. “Kid thought it was a joke.”

Roy snorted with laughter and felt better for it. “Bugs it would be then.”

“Shut up,” Ed snarled. “I _also_ said you’d put the usual shit down, you know, ‘Beloved brother, devoted husband,’ all that sappy nonsense you like so much. And Harry—he thought you’d also want to put down that I was also, y’know, a great dad or whatever.”

Then Ed blushed bright red even as he outright beamed. Roy stared a moment in surprise, and then a grin spread slowly across his own face.

“He isn’t wrong, you know,” he said, grin widening as Ed blushed brighter and put a hand over his mouth as if he was trying to hold in his happiness. “You’re amazing with him, and you have to know he loves you.”

“Yeah, but I’m not his dad,” Ed protested, his voice muffled by his hand. He belatedly removed it. “ _You’re_ his dad. I’m just, I don’t know, some guy that lives with him. Shit, he was seven or something the first time I even met him.”

“Sometimes you have a bit of a narrow view of what a family can be, love,” Roy said fondly. He wished like hell they’d been together for this conversation. He wanted more than anything to just hold Ed right now, and he could tell by the way his husband was leaning forward that he wanted the same. “You’ve been around for long enough that there’s no reason Harry shouldn’t consider you his dad if he wants to.”

“So you don’t mind, right?” Ed asked, strangely anxious. It was Roy’s turn to put a hand over his mouth, but for him it was to hide the smile on his face. He forgot, sometimes, that Ed could be so horribly self-conscious, and that he looked adorable every time he was.

“Why in the world would I mind?” Roy asked softly. “I’m thrilled he sees you as a father and not just ‘a guy that lives with him’, and it clearly makes you happy as well. What more could I possibly ask for?”

“I dunno,” Ed said with a shy smile. “A full night’s sleep, maybe?”

“The only thing that will help me get that is having you here, darling,” Roy said. “Then I suppose I actually would be the happiest man alive, wouldn’t I?”

“Oh, gross,” Ed said, wrinkling his nose. “I should’ve known this would make you all gushy. Don’t you think you could spare me the pain, just this once?”

“Sweetheart, your reactions are part of the fun,” Roy said, ignoring the way Ed echoed ‘Sweetheart!’ in a tone of outrage. “Nothing is quite as inspiring as the expressions that cross your face every time I remind you how incredibly beautiful you are. How you make my life better just by existing. How much I long for—”

“Okay, that’s enough, Mustang.” Ed stabbed a finger at him. “I didn’t call you up at this hour to listen to this fucking drivel.”

“And yet here you are, beloved,” Roy sighed happily. “Still listening.”

“And here I go,” Ed growled, making exaggerated movements to prove that he was getting up. He was so thoughtful. “Considering dumping my latest potion on your stupid face just to watch it explode.”

Roy laughed. Ed probably would do just that.

“I love you,” he said. “Please at least make the explosion spectacular.”

“Severus’ll kill me if I actually do it,” Ed grumbled, holding out his wand to put out the fire in a more mundane way. “Love you too, Roy.”


End file.
